


Memories of Nobody

by Anonymous



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Forbidden Love, Love, Memories, Post-Canon, Redeemed Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 12:17:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19295578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Snow helps Rey to remember something she didn't know she had forgotten.





	Memories of Nobody

As the snow fell on her her chapped lips from the cold of Vandor's winds, she remembered his taste, softness of his lips, cold of their last goodbye. Slowly she put fingers to her mouth and at that exact, moment she felt tears pull in her eyes.

He did it, the cruelest thing he could have done, he took from her what she treasured the most, love and belonging, ripped it it from her mind, but he failed to do it to her soul.

Now she can't stop her tears, realization breaks her heart and fuels her rage, she still can't remember everything they had, everything he took away, but glimpse from the past are here as well as this overwhelming emotions that don't let her fell to the darkness from the pain, that she is feeling from his doing.

Rey tries to catch her breath, calm down and think thru it all, but it's hard, it feels like that something is stuck in her throat and it hard to breath. The moment she realized what happened, in her consciousness she already had all the answers and she wanted to avoid every single one of them.

after a moment of silent sobs, she laughs thru tears, heart still hammering.

He had a lot of sins, he was a cruel man hardened by a life, but this, she feels and by this knows, what he did from his point of view was selfless sacrifice to save her, to let her live a life he would never be able to give her.

The worst and the most painful thing was that the clearest memories she had of him, where all about Kylo Ren and not the man who gave it all up for her, her Ben. The man who gave his love and devotion for a resistance hero, for scavenger, for a nobody. 

Green forest of Takodana, interrogation, fight in a snowed forest of the Starkiller base, red planet covered in salt, jungle, sand, Knights of Ren, Death Star, him changing sides, helping them in taking down grater enemy and the First Order. His trial. His execution. She remembers it all too damn well. 

She feels empty, broken and mad at him for taking memories of their love from her, at herself for moving on, even if she was blameless in that, even so she carries a new life under her heart from another man, who is not him and never will be. 

Rey still can't grasp all of the thing that they had, every way she was his and he hers. Their conversations, their closeness and dearness.

There was no mercy for his crimes, there was no future for them, but there was a love and memories of it, of what they had, only thing she could have had after him, he took it away,with him, to his grave.

Out of spite she wants to grasp the force and try to call her memories back, to carry this burden, this pain her whole life, but she can feel it's not what he wanted, even if he doesn't deserve to be taken into an account after what he did, still she can't take away his last selfless act of mercy, even if it was cruel from her point of view, even if she hated him for it. 

So, she meditates, connects to the force and with a last drops of tears gives away everything.

 

***************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Her son is born on green and warm planet called Yavin IV. She insist on naming him Ben, she is not sure why, she can't remember anyone with that name, all she knows is that this name has her unconditional love and devotion, because of that, she thinks it suits her little boy.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I hurt myself by writing this.


End file.
